Distance

    I wish Brad and I could just get along. I feel so frustrated and tired of not being happy with Brad. I know the only reason is probably because he's 2,000 miles away. I just don't know how long this is going to work. The communication is so tough and it's so hard to get over a fight when you cant literally kiss and makeup..I just get so worried that this is going to ruin our relationship. I don't want to admit to Brad that him working on the road scares the hell out of me because I don't want him to give up what he has to do in order to save money for our baby on the way and LeAnn. I'm just so stressed for him and my heart breaks for his loneliness...I just know he hurts by my words and I cant wrap my arms around him and tell him I'm sorry like I normally do. Marriage is ALOT of work. I'm emotionally drained right now and frustrated. I just feel like were hurting from a distance...

  Ever feel like there's just no light at the end of the tunnel?
Just like nothing ever seems to go right or maybe it does for only a small portion of time? Like life has got you wrapped around it's hands when it should be the other way around.. Well, I feel like that so often. Sometimes Brad and I could be having a great day but it always seems like he's hiding something..idk I could be wrong but I can almost just sense it in my gut. He's been working on the road for a month and a couple weeks now and one of his friends posted on facebook they were all out drinking and he had some allaby for it so I just feel like something is gonna come out to bite me in the you know what.. I just wish God could tell me the future so I could be prepared for heartache. Am I making the same mistake again? Becoming so naive to trusting someone I know nothing about. Shouldn't I know more about the man I married and his past...? Why don't I..? Will I be hurting LeAnn by taking her away from Shelly and Cristie to a state that I have no familiarity of? I guess I'll find out eventually. Sometimes I feel like this could be a mistake and I'm leaving my "safe zone" in life. I'm already 6 months pregnant with Brad's baby. I know nobody said marriage was easy or anything but what if you find yourself second guessing yourself... is it bc of a third party opinion or something I've never taken notice to before or just ignored the feeling. Is my past too much baggage for Brad or for any man to take on? I sometimes find myself saying I'll never be good enough. Why isn't there an actual easy button in life??? I honestly am terrified of moving back up to Indiana! So many what ifs. Will I ever find it in myself to actually fully trust another man...Is this what God intended for me or is this the result of my wrong doing. Maybe 2 people who met in a club were never meant to find each other. I'm questioning my choices and my marriage.